Ethan G. Salwen

Would "Marilyn Monroe" have received so many hits if she had kept the title "Norma Jeane Baker"?

Warning: This post is full of wonderfully dirty, sexy, disturbing, funny, creepy, fascinating links. Definitely keep reading if this is your kind of thing!

Note about this post: I’m sorry! I couldn’t help myself. Immediately after ending the SEO Wars with my last post (“Oil Rigs and Penis Pumps Win!), I went right ahead and did this, which is to re-post “Let the SEO Games Begin!” — exactly as it first appeared, except for the addition of  a more enticing title, and of course, with the new, more enticing “warning.”  Why oh why am I doing this? Well, I just couldn’t help myself. At the same time I retired from SEO shenanigans, I couldn’t help but wonder if this SAME, EXACT post might do a lot better in the SEO Races if I simply changed the title — better with which to lure in more people.]

What follows is EXACTLY what I previously posted on February 2, 2009. Will this retitled version get more hits? (more…)

Sure, "Oil Rig" clearly wins, but I think "small hairless penis" deserves an honorable mention.

As you well know, My Avid Readers, not too long ago I staged a search engine optimization (SEO) experiment. I had been struck by the fact that my most active post was “How Does An Oil Rig Work?,” which I wrote quickly and while stoned, as no more than a beginner blogging exercise. You know, trying to figure out how the WordPress buttons work. I posted the lame post on January 5, 2009, and as of February 2, 2009, the thing had received a mind-bottling 16 views, which was definitely my all-time high for any post.

I figured that such impressive traffic must be the result of accidental SEO, namely the fact that I included language about and links to sites featuring information on not only oil rigs but also penis pumps. So on February 2, 2009, I set out to test if this was in fact the case by posting “Let the SEO Games Begin!” This post is full of filthy phrases and shocking links and I thought it would kick the ass of the boring oil rig cum penis pump post. But this was not to be. (more…)

"Abandon hope all ye who enter here." (Visit Stateville at your own emotional risk.)

My video commentary in my last post related to the insanity of ridiculously harsh penalties for producing, transporting, selling or consuming illegal recreational drugs. It’s your body. Do what you want with it.

Now, that said, if you watched the full segment of the portion I featured from the Stateville episode of National Geographic Television’s “Lockdown,” you might have noticed that Mr. Super Dad Drug Dealer was actually convicted of murder. OK, that’s not so good. It’s your body. Do what you want with it, as long as you don’t use it to hurt other people’s bodies.

Still, regardless of crime — and, yes, I understand that many crimes are horrorshow heinously unforgivable — no human being should be locked up in a place as horrorshow disturbing as the Stateville Correctional Facility. Honestly. Even the poor guards are living in a soul-damaging hell that flips my stomach inside out. Way too much human suffering to try to digest. This place shouldn’t exist. (All links are coming, but you can start here, if you want to see what I’m on about.) (more…)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_B-J3fb8O8&hl=en&fs=1]

That’s right. I insist that all drug dealers are bad people. You’ll see a choice example of why if you listen to what this condemned dealer has to say. Thank god this horror is off the streets.

He is featured here on YouTube in a segment from the the Stateville episode of National Geographic Television’s “Lockdown.” (Gulp.)

Thanks to Matt Ridley, I can see that the political fight brewing between the USA and Mexico looks like it relates to The Red Queen Principle.

“Life is a Sisyphean race, run ever faster toward a finish line that is merely the start of the next race.”

And how!

It took scientific journalist Matt Ridley 174 pages to reach this stunning sentence in his “The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature,” published in 1993 and named after The Red Queen Principle. And it looks like he is just warming up. An earlier part of the paragraph runs:

“To summarize the argument so far, evolution is more about reproduction of the fittest than survival of the the fittest; every creature on earth is the product of a a series of historical battles between parasites and host, between genes and other genes, between members of the same species, between members of on gender in competition of members of the other genders. Those battles include psychological ones, to manipulates and exploits other members of the species; they are  never won, for success in one generation only ensures that the foes of the next generation are fitter to fight harder. Life is a Sisyphean race. . .”

To all of that I say: Wonderfully, deliciously, intriguingly eye-opening.

To all of that I say: What the fuck is he talking about? (more…)

This past Friday here in Buenos Aires it was now three hours earlier in New York than it was here. Today, on Monday, it is now one hour earlier there than it is there. That’s what happens when one location falls back and the other springs forward.

I’ve never been very good with time, keeping track of it, being on time with it, leaving enough of it to accomplish work and on an on. Of particular confusion for me has been these things called “time changes.” I never have a clue when changes in time are taking place and I definitely don’t know why.

I’m also not so great with managing time zones, often calling someone three hours later than intended instead of six hours early, just because I happened to be in California and they happened to be in New York, or maybe it was the other way around. (And why would I be calling three hours late, anyway?) (more…)